The Effects of Late Work Arrival

You know what’s the worst?  Oversleeping and getting to work late.

Okay, maybe it’s not the worst.  I suppose famine, war, malaria, etc. are probably worse but I’m using hyperbole for the sake of this blog post.  Anyway comma…

Oversleeping and getting to work late.  I hate when I do this.  It makes everything about the day pretty awful.  Allow me to break it down for you.  To preface, I will say that I usually like to get to work by 8 o’clock or before.  Okay, here we go.  On days when I oversleep (today for instance) time goes like this:

8:30am – Wake up. Be startled by how light it is outside. Grab phone to check time. See time. Lament failure in proper awakening skills. Sigh. Stretch. Get out of bed. 

8:37am – Let out Bo. Go into bathroom. Wash face. Apply makeup. Throw hair back in ponytail. 

8:44am – Let Bo inside. Go to bedroom. Grab outfit. Get dressed. 

8:50am – Go to kitchen. Grab things for lunch. Pack lunch. 

8:55am – Leave for work. 

9:27am – Arrive at office and clock in. 

9:38am – Realize am ravenous due to being past normal breakfast time. 

9:40am – Eat oatmeal. 

11:30am – Realize am hungry again due to being close to normal lunchtime. Attempt to tell stomach to get its shit together because we just had breakfast. 

11:35am – 12:33pm – Eat all snacks. 

2:00pm – Eat lunch and read book. 

3:00pm – Start wanting to go home. 

4:00pm – Really wanting to go home. If I’d gotten to work early like I should have I could be leaving right now.

5:00pm – I should not be here right now. Even if I’d managed to get in at 8:30 I would be able to leave right now. Why do I suck at life? 

5:10pm – I hate my life. 

5:11pm – Please god, I want out. 

5:10pm – Did the clock seriously just go back a minute?! 

5:30pm – Justification time. I could leave now and just work extra tomorrow. 

5:32pm – No, that would be a bad idea. What if I accidentally get in late tomorrow too? Then I’ll be totally screwed. 

5:45pm – But if I leave now it’s like no time at all tomorrow. 15 minutes is nothing! 

5:50pm – 15 minutes is nothing. I can make it through these 15 minutes now. Keep working on projects. 

5:55pm – Ooo, it will surely take me these last five minutes to gather things and get ready to go, better start doing that. 

5:56:30pm – I might have been wrong. 

6:00pm – Oh sweet salvation! A mere 30 minutes between me and being home! Huzzah!

So yeah, while the huzzah moment is great and all I’d much rather avoid the two hours of mental torture I incur at my own hand… err… mind.  I just can’t let myself oversleep ever again.  Totally achievable goal, right?